My office will be on Granville Island close to Bridges.  I can’t wait to feel part of this very west coast business and help people plan their fun day or night event out on the ocean! !

I will post the company name once I start next week.  There’s lot’s of competition out there, I’ll just have to become very good at what I do!  Lot’s to learn!

A diagnosis of cancer can create awkward tensions between friends.  If your friend has cancer, you may already find that your conversations with him or her are strained.  You may even find yourself not calling or visiting your friend—not because you don’t care, but because you don’t know how to be helpful.

Like hundreds of others, you may feel caught in a dilemma.  You may want to reach out to your friend, but you are afraid of making matters worse by doing the wrong thing—such as mentioning the word “cancer.”

Sadly enough, friends sometimes drift apart during a cancer crisis.  The following do’s and don’ts are an effort to prevent this. They are a summery of suggestions often made by cancer patients and their families on how their friends could be more helpful.

What You Can Do

1.  First of all, say or do something.
The risk of hurting your friend by saying the wrong thing is much less of a danger than the risk of hurting your friend by saying nothing. Silence can easily convey the impression that you don’t care.

2.  Make a symbolic effort to help.
If you find it hard to get started, “say it with flowers.” Or say it with vegetables from your vegetable garden, or a crock of soup, or freshly baked bread from your kitchen. Or just a card that says “Thinking of You.” If you cannot get beyond this symbolic form of help, then repeat it on a regular basis throughout your friend’s illness. You’d be amazed how much this helps.

3.  Regarding conversation, it is usually best to confront the fact of cancer directly, saying for example, “I’m terribly sorry to learn about your cancer.”
This takes the burden of opening the subject off the patient and gives him or her the choice of either talking about the cancer or not.

4.  Follow your friend’s lead after you have mentioned the cancer.
If he or she changes the subject, this does not mean you have said the wrong thing. On the contrary, you may find that your friend returns to the subject on your next visit, confident that you are one friend who is willing to share difficult feelings.

5.  If your friend chooses to talk about the cancer, be a good listener.
Share your feelings honestly. Don’t be afraid to cry. Tears from a friend are comforting to someone in distress. Tears show that you care.

What To Avoid

1.  Don’t talk about all the people you’ve known who have had cancer and have died from it!
This is a puzzling, but frequent mistake made by friends, probably due to nervousness.

2.  Don’t try to make everything better by offering false cheer or false hope.
Your friend doesn’t expect you to fix the cancer, or even to make him or her cheerful. It is mostly your presence and willingness to enter his or her world that is appreciated.

3.  Don’t offer advice on how your friend should bear up under adversity. Preaching almost never helps and can alienate your friend.

4.  Don’t make generalized offers to help such as, “Call me if there’s anything I can do.”
This places a burden on the patient or family who may be unsure about what would help. Make a specific offer such as, “Can I mow your grass?” “Can I pick up the kids after school?” “Can I bring dinner over every Wednesday?” “Can I stay with you for a few hours, so your husband (wife) can get away?”

5.  Don’t stop offering your help even if you’ve been told that no help is needed.
Many people find it hard to accept help from others unless they are pushed a little. Wait a few days and make another offer.

http://www.cancerfamilycare.org

The neat thing about the online world is that you are judged almost entirely by your actions, usually based on just your fingers.

If you do generous things, people think you are a generous person.
If you bully people, people assume you are a bully.
If you ask dumb questions, people figure you’re dumb.
Answer questions well and people assume you’re smart and generous.
… you get the idea.

This leads to a few interesting insights.

1. If people criticize you, they are actually criticizing your behavior, not you.
2. If you’re not happy with the perception you generate, change the words you type and the messages you send.
3. When you hear from someone, consider the source. Trolls are almost always trolls through and through, which means that you have no obligation to listen, to respond or to placate. On the other hand, if you can find a germ of truth, can’t hurt to consider it.

The biggest takeaway for me is this: online interactions are largely expected to be intentional. On purpose. Planned. People assume you did stuff for a reason.

Be clear, be generous, be kind. Can’t hurt.

So this is a painful exercise….watching myself speak makes me cringe…..do I look like that?  Why do people still talk to me????? lol.  Who knew that a face could move in so many directions at once?  (and where the heck did my upper lip disappear to????)
I’ve learned a few “not to do’s” EVER….LOL

Well, it can only get better from here….right?…….right???

Some of you are probably thinking….”What the heck happened to her hair????”  Well, in my pic I’m wearing a wig.  Underwent chemo this summer, did the Telly Savalas thing and now it’s growing again…albeit SLOWLY…..!

Gillian Shaw at the Vancouver Sun

VANCOUVER – It started as a two-line message on the Internet and ended up mobilizing a small crowd that roamed Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside in the snow Sunday handing out warm clothing to the homeless who live there.

In a snow-covered demonstration of the power of social media, users of the online micro-blogging site Twitter — some who didn’t know each other in real life — searched in closets for clothes to hand out in the freezing streets.

Yam De La Pena, known on Twitter as @tyamdm, said the idea grew from a tweet — a Twitter update that is limited to 140 characters — Saturday night.

He and Janice Laing, a Vancouver executive recruiter tweeting as @JaniceLaing started talking about having a tweetup, a real life meeting of people who Twitter.

“It started snowing so we decided to stay in and then there was the suggestion we should do a tweetup with a cause,” said De La Pena. “Janice came up with the name Vancouver TweetupHeatup and within five minutes all sorts of people started getting involved.”

A few people promised to dig out a couple of warm sweaters and meet downtown at Cambie and East Pender but by mid-afternoon Sunday, people were hauling in garbage bags full of warm clothes.

“Everyone was going to bring a sweater or two and then they came with a lot of clothes,” said De La Pena. “It was awesome.

“We didn’t expect this turnout at all. The power of Twitter and social media is so impressive — you can reach out to people you don’t even know and do amazing things.”

De La Pena said he expected maybe four or five people would brave the snow-covered streets to come out, bringing a handful of clothes. Instead there three times that many arrived with bags full of everything from winter coats to brand new socks and hats. Kye Grace, also one of the early organizers (@KyeGrace on Twitter) brought granola bars and chocolate to hand out.

The TweetupHeatup met at Cambie and Pender and headed east, stopped every few feet by people looking for warm clothes. Along the way Grace and another Twitter user David Watts (@davidnotary) ran into the Army & Navy store to buy more socks, gloves and hats to meet the demand.

“Here’s a coat,” said Steve Jagger, a Vancouver tech entrepreneur on Twitter as @sjagger, rooting around in the bottom of a bag to come up with something for a homeless man looking to warm up. “No, take this one instead, it’s a better fit and it’s cool.”

De La Pena said he has already heard from people on Twitter who want to follow up with other Tweetups with a cause.

“We hope to be able to give out food next,” he said.

De La Pena said he also hopes the name VancouverTweetupHeatup on Twitter will inspire people in other cities to follow Vancouver’s lead in getting together to help the homeless.

Here are some of Gillian Shaw’s photos from the Vancouver Sun:

A resident of the Downtown Eastside tries on clothes donated by the TweetupHeatup.
Photograph by: Gillian Shaw/Vancouver Sun

Steve Jagger (right) chats with Downtown Dave.
Photograph by: Gillian Shaw/Vancouver Sun

Janice Laing (left) and Yam De La Pena helped out people in the Downtown Eastside by handing out clothes.
Photograph by: Gillian Shaw/Vancouver Sun

Sarah and Steve Jagger took part in the TweetupHeatup to hand out clothes to residents on the Downtown Eastside.
Photograph by: Gillian Shaw/Vancouver Sun

Great love story.

Not a big Nicole Kidman fan…..love Hugh Jackman……but in this movie the kid steals the show…..what a cutie pie.

Checked out Eye Candy on 4th before the movie.

What do you think of these?? Btw – hair turned out red after a DIY job, definitely not intentional…..will be fixing that as soon as I’m able!

Do these make my butt look big??

Do you have the urge to call me Paaaaaaaaaat??? (SNL)

I’ve decided that I need lot’s and lot’s of cash…..there were sooooooo many great frames at this store that I wanted about 10 pairs…..

Went for a manicure on Broadway afterwards, then over to Cardero’s in Coal Harbour to meet my friend Deborah for a drink. Had a great time. Met a funny man named David Lee (entertaining but possibly a scam artist! ha!). We played guessing games and I ended up having to buy him a drink to pay off my loss. He and a two other’s stopped by our table to mention that they liked my hair cut. Surely someone paid them to do it. Here’s a pic before the hat came off……camera died before we could take any fun pic’s!!! bummer! I’m the one that looks like Casper the Ghost!

Casper and Deb!